Depending on God

Sitting on a bench outside a hospital, whilst my 91 year old father underwent an operation, I felt God speak to me loud and clear through an ambulance. 

 
The phrase "HIGH DEPENDENCY" seemed to leap out at me from the side of the vehicle.  A question jolted me out of my prayerful daydreaming.  How highly did I - or do I - depend on God?  Of course, I'd like to think I do.  I often say that I do.  But is that the reality of my life?  Aren't there many times when I try to do things my own way, somehow hoping that God will give His consent to my dreams and plans?  It's so easy, I find, to get carried away down a path that may have started with a God-given signpost, but then meandered imperceptibly into one where I'm stumbling along in the undergrowth, no longer depending on God's direction. ... and then wondering why it doesn't quite work out.

 

All this preamble is by way of sharing with you the news that several of my projects are either in limbo (waiting in a lay-by, as it were) or have unfortunately hit a dead-end.   So here's a summary, for your prayers -

• The Advent book is still sitting on a publishers desk, awaiting a decision - please pray that it will ultimately be a 'yes'. ...  and preferably before Advent!
• My CD recording project is also currently in limbo, awaiting an opportunity to experiment with the musicians who've expressed an interest in supporting me - please pray that we will soon be able to pencil in a date.
• And the collaborative book project with Mary Fleeson has unfortunately folded, due in part to the pressures on the Fleeson family.  Please pray for Mary and her family as they seek to find a good work / life / health balance.   Please also pray for me - that I will be given the wisdom and inspiration to know how best to now take this manuscript forward.

And finally - and most important - please pray that I may once again root myself in that deeper prayer life which enables me to have a high dependency on God.

 

I'm off to the Continuing the Journey Conference next week, and very much looking forward to its beautiful balance of worship, wisdom and fellowship - and to the opportunity to rest and reflect - and to maybe surrender a little more into that elusive dependency.

 

And yes thanks, Dad came through the operation well. 

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Resurrection Love

Blue Jesus: Windermere Centre website

I can hardly believe that it's Easter already.  Is it just me, or does everyone else also think it doesn't seem five minutes since Christmas?

 

This being National Poetry Day, here's a short and sweet post just to wish all my friends and supporters blessings beyond measure at this Eastertide.  And if you should be looking for any poetry resources to aid your devotional times, do take a look at my poetry pages, where you'll find lots of Easter resources.

 

I have been conspicuous by my absence of late, I know.  For those of you who may be thinking I've gone to ground   ...   you're right!  I've been hiding myself away to concentrate on preparing scripts and related materials for my upcoming CD recording project.  Things rarely go according to plan, do they?  We aren't as far forward as I had hoped to be by this stage, but we're well on the way and I'm pleased with progress so far.  Please pray that all that is necessary to now complete the project will fall into place with holy ease and at the right time.



So  ...   as Spring awakens here in the northern hemisphere   ...   and as our thoughts turn once more towards the hinge-point of history at Calvary   ...   that moment which Max Lucado calls "the dawn of heaven's dream"   ...   may you all have a peaceful and blessed Easter.  May the Crucified-and-Alive-Again Christ impact your faith journey in new and deeper ways and may His resurrection love shine out through you. 

 

Have a glorious Easter!

Godly Serendipity

These words recently rang true for me:

If we let go of our corrosive, mistaken presumption that we are somehow responsible to supervise the work of God and instead allow ourselves to be humbly and easily used by God, we soon become more supple, able to bend gently, easily to forces much larger and wiser than ourselves, and taste each new surprise as an opportunity, a blessing, a delight. Then, the magnificently impossible Kingdom of Heaven is ours. 

Wayne Muller, A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough

Renewed and refreshed from my sabbatical, I am now embarking on a project to bring my healing meditations to a wider audience, recording them onto audio media.  This has been on my heart for so long that it has always felt like "my" special project.  As I look at the way the Spirit has moved though to draw around me all the people and resources to now enable this to happen, I believe it to be a work of God in which I am simply playing a small part, alongside a talented team of people who were previously unknown to me.  Godly serendipity has been at work!  Give thanks for this and please pray for all involved in this project, that the Spirit will flow through us and between us to create something of real value. Please pray too that all the practical details of a dispersed team working together will be easily overcome.

 

We begin recording in early March.  In the meantime, there are various logistics to be considered and scripts to be adapted and rehearsed alongside the musicians.  As I work on preparing scripts to record from, I am beginning to realise that recording something onto CD is quite different to delivering a meditation to a group of people that one is, at some level, interacting with in the Spirit.  Please pray that I will be given wisdom to know the best way to present things.

 

To give space for the above, I won't be leading any events before May this year, but there are meanwhile two books in the pipeline.  An Advent manuscript is currently sitting on a publisher's desk, awaiting a response, and I very much hope that the long awaited 'Deeper' will become available later this year.  Please pray that both of these books will get into print.

 

In all of these things, I am acutely aware that God is the one taking the initiative; in bringing together the right people at the right time, in anointing people with various complementary gifts, and in birthing the flow of creativity.   May all we do be for His glory.

 

Thank you for your continuing interest in my ministry: I very much value your prayers .

 

Do watch this space.  ...

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Emmanuel

New Year's resolutions.  They're a very cultural concept.  And I'm all in favour of them.  Let's face it; most of the resolutions we make are in some way about self-improvement and that can only be good, both for ourselves and our world. And maybe we need this annual point of reflection to give our lives a new focus; a kick-start into a better way of living. But don't you find it interesting that we use this arbitrary single moment on the earth's journey round the sun to mark the time when we collectively think about how we'd like to change? 

This is also the time of year, I find, when I meet so many people who speak of Christmas with words like, "all over for another year".  And whilst I understand that as a response to letting go of the additional stresses that the season can bring (and sometimes I use that phrase myself), at another level it saddens me.

Haven't we just missed the point of Christmas if we say that? The underlying story of all our Christmas celebrations is that baby in the manger.  And though that event also happened at a particular once-in-history moment in the dance of the planets in the cosmos and in the earth's traverse around the sun, its consequences live on.  As that baby grew to be a man, He revealed the full extent of God's remarkable gift; that through his Spirit, we too have been given the means to birth Him in our lives. 

Emmanuel: God is with us.  God abides in us.  Now that's a cause for celebration!

So whether our Christmas has been lively or lonely, stressful or peaceful, painful or joyous; let's remember that each and every day is an opportunity for a new beginning - and that the Spirit of Emmanuel resides within us, inhabiting us with His love and His grace, and fully able to empower us for whatever lies ahead.  God is the God of new starts; so every day can be a New Year's Day with God. 

Thank you for your continuing interest in my ministry.  And profound thanks to all those friends and retreat spaces who hosted me, and to those who supported me prayerfully and financially, during my recent Sabbatical. There are too many to name, but you know who you are - thank you!  I am about to embark on an important new project, which I'll share more of soon.

Meanwhile ...

I wish you all a deeply blessed, Spirit enabled year in 2016. 

 

May you know the reality of the presence of Emmanuel in your life.

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Sharing love; seeking prayer

The tide of immigrants arriving on our shores grows daily.  And whilst we may be concerned about our small island becoming dangerously overcrowded and the social systems we're privileged to enjoy becoming stretched beyond their limits, we mustn't ever lose sight of the reality that these are people fleeing from frightening, hopeless situations and this is the world's worst refugee crisis since World War II. And who amongst us could put hand on heart and say we wouldn't do the same if we were in their shoes? These are our brothers and sisters from foreign lands.  They are our new neighbours, arriving on our shores with nothing; nothing but hope.

 

I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes,    ...   Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, you did it to me.

Matthew 25.35-40 MSG

 

Those of us who work as writers can only do so in trust, never knowing how God will use the words He gives us.  Forty copies of 'Whispers of Love' recently winged their way down to Kent after a friend of a friend requested some to share with the many illegal immigrants whom they are offering Christian support to.   A tiny contribution in the midst of a massive tide of need. 

 

When was I lost and lonely and you told me about Christ? 

 

Please pray for the refugees who have found their way here, whether illegally or not, for those reaching out to offer love to them and for all who seek ways of resolving this escalating crisis of wounded humanity.  Warsan Shire's powerful poem, "Home is the barrel of a gun", expresses better than I ever could the horrors that drive these people to risk everything and to push themselves beyond their absolute limits of endurance.  Listen to it - it will touch you deeply.  Listen to it - and let it change you.

 

And if you're a Christian writer with a few spare books stacked in your garage that you'd be happy to donate, please get in touch.

 

 

Please pray ...

 

On the personal front, the last few months have been a difficult season of supporting my father through serious ill health and a rapid decline into advanced dementia.  It has been painful, stressful, demanding and exhausting; and has taken its toll on me.

 

Watching the colours of autumn unfold reminds me that all of creation speaks of the importance of fallow times, just as all of scripture speaks of the importance of Sabbath.  After much prayer, I am

following medical advice to take a 3 month sabbatical in order to restore and renew myself for future ministry.  Unfortunately this has meant taking a difficult decision to withdraw from two retreat leading commitments this autumn. To all who had booked into 'Undeserved Grace' at Penhurst and 'Prepare to Welcome Him' at Shallowford I extend my love, prayer and apologies.

 

Please pray that rest and renewal will enable me to return stronger to all that God calls me to, bearing new fruit in due season.

 

May our healing, renewing God be with you all.

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Spirit's Flow

When we're open to the flow of the Spirit in our lives, truly remarkable things can happen: in brief, exciting moments the possibility of the Kingdom of God as a living, breathing reality can be glimpsed. 

Penhurst focal point

It's so hard to be open to that though, isn't it, and the presence of the Spirit can feel very elusive sometimes. 

 

In treasured moments though, during the preparation and leading of the recent Mystery & Glory retreat at Penhurst, that presence was evident.

The combination of glorious spring weather, in the thin place that is Penhurst, a gathering of very special people, and the awesome touch of the Holy Spirit made for some wonderful moments - moments of creativity, of healing, of surrender and of life-changing commitment. 

New songs were written, new poems & liturgies emerged, and art work, prayer and stillness led to reflection and insights.   Thank you to all who prayed Jill, Viv and I through that retreat:  your prayers were a crucial part of it all.

On a country walk yesterday, I came across a little waterfall that was choked with debris.  The water was still cascading over it but the water would have flowed so much more powerfully if that debris hadn't been clogging up its path.  It made me think that we can all too easily impede the flow of the Spirit in our own lives when we allow them to become over-cluttered.

Many new ministry opportunities have begun to open up for me recently (for which I give huge thanks) and I know that I need to carefully discern where the Spirit is leading me next.   So, after a busy few months of retreat leading, time now for me to do a bit of debris-clearing in my own life   ...   and time for some rest, restoration and deep prayer before the Retreat Association Conference in June.

Please pray that I will have a clear sense of what my priorities should be for the future   ...   or at least, for the next step!

As to future diary dates; my next healing retreat will be taking place at Penhurst in September.  If you're interested in this, or know of anyone who might be, do book up early as it's likely to be popular.  I'd love to see you there: come and experience the wonderful, undeserved grace of God.

Thank you.  May you all enjoy the blessings of Springtime and may you live in the Spirit's flow.
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Easter thoughts

It's been a busy time over here!  Far too busy for a natural contemplative, but sometimes the seasons of our life are like that.  I've had three events in the last few weeks, and now I'm preparing to co-lead a retreat at Penhurst in two weeks time.

 

The themes and narratives of these events are very fresh in my head and impacting me as we approach Easter.  And the question I keep returning to is, "what difference would it make in our lives if we knew ourselves  ...   really knew ourselves  ...  to be deeply loved?   ...   and if we could accept that to the point where it transformed every situation?"  For the message in the mystery of the cross is surely that - that we are loved beyond our imagining.  The hard part lies in accepting that and surrendering ourselves into the ultimate safety of that truth.  In the midst of whatever chaotic or difficult circumstances we find ourselves in, God is working His purposes out  ...   and they are purposes woven in a tapestry of love.

 

This painting, 'Forgiven', by Thomas Blackshear, has always moved me.  Last weekend I explored with a local parish some thoughts about 'the man with the hammer', the Roman soldier who drove the nails into Jesus' flesh.  And I invited them to ponder the thought that the one who wielded the hammer was actually one of the first people to be washed in Jesus' blood, as it spurted from his wounds.  "This is my blood", Jesus had said, only the night before, "shed for the forgiveness of sins".  I wonder if those words echoed  in Jesus' head as he watched his blood covering the Roman soldier? 

 

What a powerful thought. ..  that's how much we are loved.

 

Thank you for your continuing interest in my ministry and for your support in so many ways.  Please pray for stamina, inspiration and balance as Jill & I prepare for the upcoming retreat, on the themes of Mystery and Glory.   And please pray for Viv, who will be joining us to lead an art activity.

 

And as you journey through Easter, may you see glimpses of God's glory, and may they change you in radical, life-giving ways.

 

Easter Blessings to you all   xxx

 

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