The Pain of the Season

 

Phew! Are you glad to be on the other side of the festive season? How was it for you?

Christmas is a season like no other. It has a way of magnifying our hidden wounds, but we grit our teeth and somehow get through the season whilst hiding from others the pain in our inner world. And then in the cold, dark days of January, when the cultural atmosphere of gaiety subsides, we can suddenly feel very flat.

I am one of the first to emphasise the joyous aspects of Christ’s birth. But for many of us, Christmas can be a difficult time. The worries, griefs and hurts we carry become painfully heightened when messages of laughter and joy, and happy family gatherings fill the air and surround us at every turn. It can be all a bit much, especially when we’re not at our sparkling best. There can seem to be no escape from the unspoken pressure to be happy. And when that’s not our reality we can feel very low.

We all carry those worries, griefs and hurts; pain from our past that we’ve not fully looked at, and whose effects linger within us and affect us in unhelpful ways. We don’t feel our best and life feel’s a struggle.

If any of this resonates with you, then Healing Life’s Wounds is for you. It’s a simple, easy to read guide that can help you towards feeling calmer and lighter in your spirit. Don’t take my word for it, this is what an award-winning author said:

One the most enlightening books around healing 

that I have read.

Sheila Jacobs

If the book hasn’t found it’s way into your hands yet it’s available here, or you can find the e-book version on Amazon.

Take a look, and live into a happier February, because no one wants to live life feeling low …

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Celebrating .. at the turning of the year

New Year's resolutions.  They're a very cultural concept.  And I'm all in favour of them.  Let's face it; most of the resolutions we make are in some way about self-improvement and that can only be good, both for ourselves and our world. And maybe we need this annual point of reflection to give our lives a new focus; a kick-start into a better way of living. But don't you find it interesting that we use this arbitrary single moment on the earth's journey round the sun to mark the time when we collectively think about how we'd like to change? 

This is also the time of year, I find, when I meet so many people who speak of Christmas with words like, "all over for another year".  And whilst I understand that as a response to letting go of the additional stresses that the season can bring (and sometimes I use that phrase myself), at another level it saddens me.

Haven't we just missed the point of Christmas if we say that? The underlying story of all our Christmas celebrations is that baby in the manger.  And though that event also happened at a particular once-in-history moment in the dance of the planets in the cosmos and in the earth's traverse around the sun, its consequences live on.  As that baby grew to be a man, He revealed the full extent of God's remarkable gift; that through his Spirit, we too have been given the means to birth Him in our lives. 

Emmanuel: God is with us.  God abides in us.  Now that's a cause for celebration!

So whether our Christmas has been lively or lonely, stressful or peaceful, painful or joyous; let's remember that each and every day is an opportunity for a new beginning - and that the Spirit of Emmanuel resides within us, inhabiting us with His love and His grace, and fully able to empower us for whatever lies ahead.  God is the God of new starts; so every day can be a New Year's Day with God. 

I wish you all a deeply blessed, Spirit enabled year in 2026. 

 

May you know the reality of the presence of Emmanuel in your life.

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Emmanuel

 

However this season of Christmas is for you this year -

 whether you’re achingly lonely or surrounded by family and friends -

 whether there’s discord in your relationships, or hearty laughter and lots love -

 whether there’s a smile on your face, or tears behind closed doors -

 whether you feel joyous, sad, happy, fearful, grieving, or wildly excited -

or maybe all of the above within one single day

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all of it matters to Jesus:

 it was for you - yes you - that He came.

 

However crazy, or quiet, miserable or happy your Christmas season is

 may you know the reality of Emmanuel with you:

 just whisper to Him and He will come close.

  

With deepest love to all my followers,

 Pat     xxx

Being tender with your tears

I’ve recently been dipping into a fabulous book of poetry, ‘Let Me Be The Kind Who Weeps’, by Jon Swales, leader of the Lighthouse community in Leeds. The poetry is real, gritty, true; honestly charting the reality of ministry to those who are battered and bruised by life and have largely lost all hope of God ever caring about them.

Life’s tough.  And it’s always healthy to cry. Tears are a natural release of tensions held within our body, sometimes tucked away there for years.

Some words of a song hit me deeply yesterday and I instantly felt tears rising in me. They were sad, they were beautiful, they were unexpected.  But they were part of my ongoing, never ending, healing journey. Deep grief about things long past has been pouring itself out through me as I’ve begun to settle into rest and quiet. Perhaps because it now can, as I begin a sabbatical and give my mind space from its usual noise.

It’s easy to be frustrated by this, angry even. It’s tempting to fight the feelings; to suppress them or distract myself from them.  And of course that’s what often happens in the busyness of our ordinary days. 

We all do it.  You too.  But I’m learning to practice what I write about in Healing Life's Wounds. I’m learning to let the tears, and all the associated physical sensations that power through my body, simply ‘be’. I’m learning to welcome them rather than subdue them; to fully observe them; to be gentle with them and channel love into them.  And though that’s not an easy process, it’s healing. And each time I manage it, a few more cells in my body return into healthy balance.

'Holding my emotions in awareness and love' feels counterintuitive, because our instincts are always to rapidly get rid of the pain.  But it helps so much.

In the book I use an acronym to help you remember this: H.E.A.L.  

It’s a process that helps restore calm when you’re experiencing strong feelings.  

Why not try it?  

Or better still, buy the book and work through it.

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Letting go ... sabbatical time

The joy on the toddler’s face lit me up. Seeing him scattering a pile of fallen leaves awakened happy memories of my own childhood; remembrances of the annual magic of brightly coloured leaves carpeting a woodland floor. 

It’s that time of year again. Autumn. For the trees, a necessary season of letting go, as they hunker down to rest through the winter and prepare themselves for the new growth that will stir in the spring.  

We all need seasons of rest and renewal, and I am entering such a season. After an incredibly demanding few years, I am about to take a sabbatical. In a time of powerful prayer ministry at the British Christian Writers conference, the prophetic message was clear: ‘Lay it all down for a season. Stop, and rest in Me’. So I’m embarking on a season of hunkering down, and trusting God with all my ongoing projects; a time to let go and enter deep rest, ready for whatever new ministry may subsequently stir.  

I don’t find it easy to lay down the various ministry projects I am engaged in, and it’s particularly challenging whilst my new book is still in its launch phase.  But the call to do so for a while seems clear. Time to let go. And trust God.

‘Letting go’, when the time is right, is part of nature.  We all need to do it, and not just through domestic decluttering. 

Learning to let go is crucially important in the context of our inner healing. And we’re not always good at it.  We have a tendency to cling onto all manner of hurts and feelings long after they have served their useful purpose, long after it would have been healthy to let go and move on. 

Which is why there’s a whole chapter in Healing Life’s Wounds about the importance and healing potential of letting go.

Is there anything you might need to let go of?  Might it be time for you to do so? 

If you haven’t read the book yet you can pick up a copy here.

Meanwhile, I’m off to do my own letting go  ...   I might just kick up a few autumn leaves along the way.
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The model for wholeness

 

Jesus both taught and modelled a way to live. Sometimes his parables were confusing but he gave profoundly good advice about how to live healthily, free of deep inner pain. And, when we break it down, his instructions are so very simple:

Don’t worry.   Don’t be afraid.   Don’t be angry.   Forgive often.  

Let go of your burdens.   Be thankful.  Be still.   Rest.   Pray.

Some of these commands can feel like reprimands when we’re already struggling, but actually they are invitations - invitations to wholeness. 

But how do we actually live them out when just to get through the day feels more than enough?

Taking these simple teachings as a model, my new book, Healing Life’s Wounds; Beyond Feeling Broken, explores why our minds and bodies feel as they do and looks at some very practical actions to help ease the uncomfortable sensations and overcome any mental turmoil.

Jan McFarlane, Dean of Lichfield Cathedral, writes:

Healing Life’s Wounds is an excellent book. Pat writes from lived experience and she speaks candidly, yet gently, with a deep longing for us to walk with her on the path to healing and peace.

Pat has a gift for saying profound things simply.

Oh, how our church needs that gift!

Do get a copy: I’d love to help you find healing.     It’s available on my website

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Finding safe space to reflect

 

How to untangle the chaos of our hidden pain?  

Last week, on a Healing Life’s Wounds retreat in the safe space of Penhurst Retreat Centre, a group of weary and wounded people stepped aside from their daily lives to explore that question.  

With courage and honesty, vulnerabilities were prayed into and burdens laid down.  In the sharing of our stories, bonds were formed, insights were given, tears released and hearts healed a little more.

God who heals in many different ways broke through into each individual’s uniqueness. Heavy weights put down. An echo of dreams in the night. Letters courageously written. A prayer shawl touched in faith. A cross looking down on us all. Scriptures and music. Hearts cradled in love. Road signs, dragonflies and shattered pots. Strolling with Jesus. Sharing bread and wine. In all these ways and more, into the silence beneath our storms, God lovingly spoke.

Stepping aside from daily life into the shared and safe intimacy of a prayerful space enabled all this to happen and each person left feeling lighter than when they arrived, having taken a few steps further down the road to healing and knowing that brokenness is never the end of the story.

This retreat will be offered again at Penhurst in August 2026.  And the book, Healing Life’s Wounds, is available from their bookstall, this website, and all the usual places where you buy Christian books.

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